Celebrity Antics

I may have the world's craziest Spanish teacher. I'm serious. He is the father of a world famous musician. He has stories about anything and everything. He swears sometimes in class. It is like going to the circus every Monday and Wednesday from 4:00 - 5:20.

Today he inadvertently led me to a great internet gem.

He was just off on one of his usual tangents. "My son in law is a genius. He writes plays. He is a genius." So he tells us to check out the guy's blog. I did... and stumbled upon hours of fun and enjoyment.

You see, the son-in-law had a link to myheritage.com. On the my heritage.com website you can upload a picture of yourself. This picture will then be sent through some computer in some place and the computer will look at it, and then it will tell you which world celebrities you look most like.

Oh joy. Let's give it a shot.

Picture number 1:

I figured that this would be a good picture. It is one of only 2 known pictures of me that are actually good. The other is in a secret file somewhere in the depths of the CIA headquarters archives.

So I submitted the picture to myheritage.com. The website then sent me back a list of individuals who's pictures supposedly matched mine, along with a percentage of how close a match it was.

Let's see what they came up with.


Julianne Moore (55%)
Emma Watson (51%)

Emma Watson, eh? She is pretty cute. But also a girl. What else we got here...

Grace Kelly (50%)
Mariah Carey (48%)

Okay... still no guys. This is a little discouraging.

Katie Holmes (44%)

At least I look like attractive girls, right? Is that a good thing?

Patrick Stewart (44%)
Gilbert Becaud (43%)

Ah sweet. Finally some men. But Patrick Stewart? Is that really any better. And Gilbert Becaud? Who is that. Turns out he is a French singer. Not better.

Orlando Bloom (41%)

The Light at the End of the Tunnel! Famous. Good-looking. Now we are getting somewhere. But only 41%. I'm sure we can do better than that. I just need a better picture.

Picture number 2:

I hate this picture. Hate it.

But honestly, we have to do better than Captain Picard from Star Trek. That is just sick. This could be the picture that does the trick... just maybe...

Barbara Stanwyck (59%)

We are off to a bad start. Wikipedia says "Barbara Stanwyck (July 16, 1907 – January 20, 1990) was an American film and television actress." Another chick. Great. But it gets even better. "Stanwyck was rumoured to have been a lesbian, and to have gone to great length to protect her privacy." Well... I do like girls... And yes, wikipedia does have a link to "lesbian".

Let's continue.

Demi Moore (59%)
Emma Watson (59%)

There she is again. That crazy Hermione. But now it is a 59% match. I actually look more like a woman in this picture.

Priyanka Chopra (45%)
Cate Blanchett (43%)

More actresses. Priyanka Chopra stars in movies in India. I'm international even. Internationally HOT!

Tom Cruise (41%)

Lucky number 6 again. But Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise? That is kind of weird. Maybe if they have a kid, he will look 85% like me.

Rani Mukherjee (41%)
Maria Sharapova (40%)

Two more international hotties. One of them... gasp... an Indian actress? I didn't even know they had actresses in India, much less hot ones that look like me.

Well... that didn't quite get me what I was hoping for. Third time is the charm?

Picture number 3:

Okay, so remember how there are in existence 2 good pictures of myself? This isn't the other one. But it has the long hair flavor, I decided to give it a try.

Maybe I need to be less hot in order to get this to work right anyways. Yeah, I'll bet that is what is throwing it off. I've been using pictures that were too hot.

Turns out this was the weirdest bunch of all.

Iris Chang (59%)

Well this is just plain bizarre. Turns out she is a writer who commited suicide two years ago.

Sting (55%)

Not bad, not bad. I've always wanted to be a rockstar.

Simone de Beauvoir (52%)
Lise Meitner (51%)

An Austrian physicst and a French author.

Cary Grant (51%)

Ha ha! I think the curse has been broken. I look like Cary Grant? Can't argue with that. But it wasn't to be...

Elisha Cuthbert (45%)

Yes folks, that's right. You may know her from the popular television series 24 or such films as The Girl Next Door (I'm hoping you don't know her from that). This pretty much decides it. I am hot. There is no turning back. The last two results are pretty much inconsequential after that.

Ian Curtis (43%)
Bette Davis (43%)

And that is that folks.

I would love for everyone to give it a try themselves. Here is the link to the face recognition page. If you do go ahead and do it, go ahead and post a comment with your results in it, so everyone can join in the fun.